Oh wow. There are over ONE MILLION WORDS in the English language (the language I am most familiar with), how could I ever pick one?
There are SO many good words to choose from. Petrichor, sumptuous, angst, aesthete, nadir, miraculous, lassitude, gossamer, bungalow, scintilla, aurora, mellifluous, euphoria, serendipity, cherish, elixir, eternity, love, solitude, epiphany, quintessential, plethora, and more than I could ever dream of listing here– how could I ever pick one?
Well, I couldn’t really. I can’t really say that I have a favorite. However, I can say ONE of my favorite words. I have to pick one because I really need to get a point across. I really HAVE to spread this idea around.
I have to tell you one of my favorite words so that I may have you consider it as well I have to tell you the one word that you are probably under utilizing, one that changed my life and one that will hopefully change your life as well..
My favorite word is: “No“
I know I know, how could a word based in the negative ever be my favorite word? How could it be anyone’s favorite word. People love to help, people love to be able to tell someone “Yes”.
“The customer is always right,” is one example of how much we, in our modern world, love to tell people only “Yes”.
The above logic isn’t wrong per se, because of course we should give people what they want… especially if it would make them happy and it’s within our power to do so .There’s very little reason, as a business owner, to ever tell some customer/individual “No”. There’s very little reason to ever tell a person “No”, especially when I myself believe that anyone can have whatever they desire, whatever they like, so long as they ask for it (nicely of course).
However, the valuableness of “No” comes to light when people realize that—
People don’t really know what they want.
Yes, you can say you do know what you want, you/people definitely could have considered what they desire fully, and have considered the ramifications/benefits to their full extent. However, I feel that, mostly this is not the case. I feel like most people have what one could call “pipe dreams” over the actual reality of the world and have so many “ideas of what the world could be” rather than what the world actually is. People think you can describe reality with words, but of course nobody can, reality is not words.
Whereas, people in the real world a don’t know what they actually want until you actually put it in-front of them, or better said– people haven’t thought about their true desires till you put it right in-front of them. There is a reason we as humans possess the parable of the Djinn and the Monkey’s Paw, a method of granting wishes– usually granting their wish, but granting it in such a way that they would have never expected/wanted because they have not fully thought through what it is they do wish, how they would get it, or the ramifications afterwards.
I’m a glutton
I, personally, have gluttonous tendencies. But it’s not gluttony in such a way that most people think about.
I have gluttony in such a way that, should I ever give into it fully, that I would regret my life. I’ve had to train myself to have restraint/discipline, and that is one of the things that have allowed me to have the life that I currently possess.
I want everything. I would like to drink whenever I like, do drugs whenever I like, skimp out on work whenever I like, eat whatever I like, basically indulge in anything I like and not have anyone tell me what I can/can’t do. Unfortunately for me, I live in America, home of the free and the brave and as such I can do whatever it is I like without any ramifications of any sort (so long as it is within the extent of the law).
Even if it is out of the extent of the law, I can still do whatever it is that I like (even infringe on the life, liberty, or pursuit of happiness of another) so long as I don’t get caught (I don’t take advantage of this of course. As a child I did, but I have developed myself since then). All the freedoms America offers is more freedom than anyone else in the world really has in their systems, and I can certainly make the most of it. Believe me, that I count my blessings every day, if not every breath, for some people are unfortunate enough not to have any of these capabilities and I am thankful that I am not among them.
Freedom is dangerous
This is mostly because freedom can be taken for granted. Freedom can destroy one’s life is one is not careful.
If I ever really drank whenever I liked I would destroy my filtering organs, if I did the drugs I’d like to do in the amount that I’d like to do them who knows what could happen, if I skimped out on work whenever I liked I would be fired, if I ate whatever I liked I would destroy my body and gain much weight (been there done that), and if I indulged in anything I liked as much as I would like with no restrictions, there is a very real possibility I would be consumed by it.
Now don’t get me wrong, I certainly consider these freedoms to be MASSIVELY important. However just because I have freedom doesn’t mean that I can be addicted to it, abuse it, or let it take control of my life in such a way that it is detrimental to my well-being. I also understand that most people may not have the same struggles I do, many of you may already have discipline and know the power of “no”.
I was never taught this well, at least not in a way where I enjoyed saying it. One day I fully realized the power of the word “no”, and now, it’s one of my absolute pleasures to say “no”.
As such, my favorite word is “No” and you may consider making it your favorite word as well once you being to reap the benefits of it.
Why is my favorite word “No”
My favorite word is “No” because it keeps me in control.
Would I like that ice cream sandwich? Hell yes, ice cream is one of my favorite things ever since I can remember.
Would I like to smoke weed? You’d better believe it, I would like to smoke weed every second of every day.
Would I like to play video games? YES! I LOVE video games and it’s one of the ways I stay in touch with my friends now that we have all moved away from each other.
Would I like to eat whatever I want? You’d better believe it!! Tomatoes are one of my favorites, as are pizza, cookies, and broccoli.
Would I like to do whatever I want when I want to? FOR CERTAIN. Nobody can control me, not the government, not my mom, nobody can tell me what to do or not do so long as I am a sovereign being.
But really, is it healthy for me to do whatever it is I like whenever I would like to do it?
FUCK “NO “
In reality, I can’t do whatever I would like to do. I have dreams, I have goals, I have things that I would like to accomplish during my time here on this Earthly Plane that simply cannot accomplish if I gave into my Earthly desires.
I HAVE TO TELL MYSELF “NO” IN ORDER TO BE SUCCESSFUL
I can’t allow myself to eat things that take away from my mental energy and have degradating effects upon my body. I’m not allowed to drink as much as I would like or I wouldn’t get things done. How could I ever attract the wife I would like if I’m fat and don’t have anything to offer other than my quick wit (which soon too would go to the wayside)? It is not possible that I dislodge myself from underneath the thumb of my bosses (love you bosses, but in being a boss I’m sure you understand the difference in being in a boss’ position of power vs a employee’s position of power) if I spend my own money all willy nilly and/or go into debt without any sort of thought then I’ll always be forced to work at the job that feeds me and be chained by debt.
I have to say “No” to many many things I would really like to say “Yes” to
I would not be the same person I am today, I would not be able to do what it is I do to my fullest extent if I said “yes” to everything.
I have to build myself and, unfortunately for myself, that requires me to say “No” to many many endeavors.
Examples of things that I have to say “No” to:
– sleeping in
– laziness
– doing drugs
– watching TV/Movies
– playing video games
– eating whatever I would like
– watching porn
– current pleasures for the long-term goal
Saying “no” to yourself requires discipline and objectivity. It requires one to set standards and limitations/boundaries that forbid the indulgence of impulses or flights of fancy. It is not easy to set boundaries if you have never done so before, there definitely an inner demon/child (with differing power depending on the individual) that needs to be overcome or at least put into their place. Those who do put in the time to erect boundaries may take solace in that once walls are done and dusted that they are more difficult to break down, provided that they were of quality build of course.
I have long-term goals that I would like to succeed in
Really, I am already successful. In my mind, I am already more successful than I could ever possibly dream and that’s because I’ve made it this far without even really thinking; it wasn’t until this year that I realized I wasn’t thinking at the level that I needed to be, I was an idiot compared to where I am now.. looking back I’m surprised so many people put up with me as well as they did. Thank you friends and family, for having such a loving patience for me, I cannot thank you enough.
I do consider myself successful, but of course, as one progresses… or at least as I progress, I can’t help but want more. I don’t want it all, but I do want enough, enough is all I need. How do I know how much is enough? (Theoretically, everyone will always be needing more unless we appropriately intervene but that is another article entirely.)
I have a plan
Well basically, at the crux of it, I know where I’m going, I have a destination in mind. Not only do I have a destination in mind, I have roughly mapped it out.
Now I, personally, am not such a fan of detail and laying things out in solid step-by-step plans. I will always do it when it is the proper course of action or somebody asks for that, but when the choice is of my own, all I usually like is a general direction. I’m an individual who values freedom and loves being open/available to opportunities/possibilities, so I prefer only having a rough outline so that I will not have any ties to sever with any preconceived ideas. Can’t get attached to any preconceived ideas if you never have them 😉
If you are someone who has never laid out a specific path for yourself, physically on paper, then I would recommend you do to this as soon as you are able. If you have never done this before or it has been some time since you have last done so then I would do your best to be as detailed as possible, at least until you have full belief in yourself to make the right decision in any given situation as it arises.
If you do not make a definite list, you will continue to whirlpool in the same decisions you have always made while wanting more/”success” and never actually achieve it. Take some time for yourself, I know, “this is hard” “these days especially when I’m so busy”, but really one only needs 30min; are you actually so “busy” for yourself that you’re not able to take some productive time for yourself?
Well you’re in luck! There’s a certain time of day where every single human that breathes has somewhere between 5 – 30ish minutes a day and is free of most all distractions. Typically this time is spent looking at our phones (should we be fortunate to have one) or at a shampoo bottle was the joke if the host wasn’t kind enough to leave some reading material within arm’s reach (thank you to those with the kindness/forethought, especially those of you who choose joke/fun fact books!)
Yes, you connected the dots, I mean you can do it while you poop. I used to look at pooping as a curse (peeing, eating, and sleeping as well) because it is such a waste of time (punintentional). In my mind, I could be doing so many more important things! Though, technically, if you’re pooping, you’re doing the most productive thing you could be doing; there is an inverse relationship between holding in poop and quality of productivity as we all well know.
I’ve since shifted my perspective to allow for more appreciation of pooping. I don’t see it as a waste of time, I see it as an opportunity to get things done I couldn’t do otherwise. Rather than wait for it to be over with my head in my hands or by absent-mindedly scanning social media apps, I tick things off of my to-do list. I answer texts, do things I have to online, read, listen to audiobooks, sidework, write articles 😉 etc.
If I’m forced to sit for 30ish minutes a day, I’m not wasting that time, it adds up! Let’s do the math..
At least 1 poop per day at 30 minutes each would be 10,950 minutes per year, or 182.5 hours per year.
The world average life expectancy is 73 years old, so multiply 182.5 hours by 73 years to get 13,322.5 hours.
Then convert that number to days and you get 555 days or 1.52 years!!!!
You heard it here, folks. You spend 555 days of your life pooping. (This number also doesn’t include time spent going #1)
Those are days we’re never getting back!!! What about the times you sit on a bus or a train? What about the times when work is slow? When you’re home for the weekend and just watching something on a streaming service? Why not hop on duolingo right quick, you know how much of a language you can learn if you spend a year and a half on it?
This is all time that one could spend far more productively considering how little time we have during life, at least I know personally that I could and should be spending my time here as productively as possible. I can’t judge what is productive for you or anyone else. I don’t know how productive you specifically are either. Sometimes, the most productive thing for someone could be laying on the beach all day you know.
I don’t know who I’m talking to or how you actually spend your time so some of these may not pertain to you (you will know what applies and what doesn’t, if none– great!), but perhaps the social media, youtube videos, binge watching, porn, or drugs are actually the most productive thing you could be doing. To each their own.
I feel like I digress in every long article so I’d better do it again in this one to maintain the authenticity of my go-off-on-tangents demeanor.
The point is… do your life planning when you poop! Now you’ve got the time if you didn’t realize it before. I may have just given you the extra thirty minutes you needed in your life, enjoy! I can do you one better, let me give you a pro tip:
Never poop at home, poop at work
Set up your schedule to where you’re pooping on the boss’ dime. If you’re going to do anything while you’re defenseless and intimately exposed it should always be for yourself and not somebody else. If you’re going to have to sit down and (no longer) waste 30 minutes of time, then it also may as well be a PAID 30 minutes, you deserve it champion.
So take your sit, make your plan, profit; simple as that. There are other benefits to laying a log besides getting paid though.
Nobody has the right to voice notice of a lengthy toilet venture for it is impolite to do so in a professional environment for it is nobody’s business as to the type and duration of your poop time. Don’t abuse it or go overboard with it, obviously you’re at work to work and your boss isn’t paying you work on yourself… but ya know.. maybe they are, I mean you’re a less productive worker if you have to poop. If you’re also working on yourself, that increases your value to the company as well.
It’s not like you can work on work while you’re pooping, so you may as well do the next most productive thing. I don’t think any boss, unless they’re a jerk, can find fault with someone pooping and taking the time to make sure they’re finished so they don’t have to come back and “waste” (from the boss’ perspective) more time and also spending that time in a most productive way.
Maybe this is your “brain break” time and you use it for scrolling through social media, well, I’m not sure I’d consider devoting your attention to your phone in that manner can really be considered a “brain break”. I think a true “brain break” on the porcelain throne is phone away, eyes closed, monitored breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth, reeling in your consciousness from the exterior world and focusing it on the activity beginning to stir to life within you.
Still breathing, focused on your center, acutely aware as you involuntarily and voluntarily at same time (since you have no real choice in the matter) turn on the organic conveyor belt native within every human, then the feeling of a slight build of pleasure, the inner wiggle-dance to shuffle along the desired product (I believe it safe to say that every poop ever has been desired, if not immediately then at the time of being dispelled), the further build-up of pressure (Pa values required varying upon the subject’s most recent intake materials), the swift opening of the pod bay door paired with the slingshot of our muscles returning to their previous unstrained positions.
Eyes may remain closed or finally open upon completion with a sweet sigh of relief and taking our time to do a quick evaluation of our faculties to see if any further relief could be sought. The signals of the body are all firing off many synapses of various sensation as they do this, these and the varying degree of pleasure/euphoria within cause the evaluation period to differ but will at least take a moment to decide whether or not you have come to a proper conclusion. You don’t want to be wrong and have to come back 10min later to see what happens, so may as well stay until you’re certain.
^^^^THAT. Is a brain break, or as much of a brain break as you can get without going to sleep. I’m not sure though, I feel like the meditative effect on the brain, should you be able to go into that state while pooping, is probably a far more relaxing state of the brain. We’d have to put someone into a MRI while they poop to find out, we have monitored sleep though and seen enough activity to know that the brain never really gets a break (Side note: we have had people poop while being in an MRI, but only to see what it looks like to poop. We need to monitor the brain while someone poops next time and see what’s happening, FOR SCIENCE!!).
Anywho, I feel that the sleep processes are more intensive since they need to be at night and require periods of “absolute” inactivity. Being awake, you’re able to actively control your brain activity making pooping more mentally “restful” than sleep, at least in my mind.
Enough poop talk, let’s get you where you’re going
So you’re gonna go do some planning for your life while you poop (probably over several different sessions), but instead of having the mystical experience I’ve described above, you’re going to take the time to figure out where you’re going.
First brainstorm everything you want, I’m not talking petty things. I’m talking about writing down your dream life. Write your ideal picture of happiness. Many things may come to mind, or it may be hard to come up with things. If you knew exactly where to get success and happiness you would have already gone out and gotten it, right?
I’ll list some ideas as to where to start if you need some help, and then we’ll talk about how to filter ideas if you’re having too many.
Regardless of your idea fruitfulness presently, I would like to first say to pay mind to the timeline the goals and life you are painting in your imagination for yourself. It would be better to have more closer/short-term goals since you have clearer sight regarding your current situation and what path you may take. Have long-term goals for sure, but you really never know where you may end up in five years; have long-term goals but do not invest so much time over specifics regarding them for it very may well end up as time wasted. Plan generally your long-term goals and keep them fewer in number if possible– it’s more important for you to be spending your time/effort/energy on what is most relevant within your current possible grasp.
Time to plan the next 25 years
25 is a good amount of time, I would consider to be in the Goldilocks zone. Not to far and not too close, but just right.
So, starting from this moment right now, close your eyes, take some deep breaths to relax, push the cares of the world away, and turn your focus inward. Do a quick perusal of your life so far, thinking of things as they come to mind: you accomplishments, your experiences, take stock of your current status, and all the steps you took along the way that caused you to end up where you’re standing.
Think about yourself when you were younger. You had goals probably, did you fulfill those? It’s probable that you had to abandon some. In your younger days, you probably attempted to envision yourself where you are currently standing now. How would your younger self feel if they had the knowledge of the life as it is? Would you be able to explain to them why you are where you are? What would they think of that? Would they be satisfied? Would they see their current future self as someone to strive for? Or would they see you as a future that they should take action to avoid? When they asked you where you think you’re headed next, why you’re going that way, and how you will get there– what will you tell them? You’d want to tell them something encouraging and not lie to them I would assume. I would hope you’d be honest, even if the answers are hard for them, best they know what could be coming so they can attempt to avoid them if that’s not the outcome they desire.
So, we’ve given our mind the proper warm-up and we have pulled forward everything we need in the consideration of our future. We have where we’ve been, we’ve remembered what we wanted, we know where we are and how/why our wants had to change or be differed for the time being, we know what courses of action we may take based on our situation, and now we can figure out where we’re going to go.
Once we figure out our destination, we can map a path to it from our current place.
So let’s figure out our destination.
Alright so for a period of 25 years we’re going to split that up into 5 year increments.
First we’re going to go the far end of the future we’re imagining. So close your eyes, relax yourself, quiet your mind, and paint the picture of the life you would like to have at the end of a 9,131.25 day (25 year) period. Once you have that picture painted, list EVERYTHING that you see that’s important to you within that vision, do not stir up the complexity of your thoughts in an attempt to filter anything out or decide what’s important to you; we will be filtering at a later time and don’t want to be caught on the specificities at the moment. The 25 year older and wiser you is far in the future and is more of an enigma than the 5 year older and wiser you, don’t worry if the picture is funny this is usually the case. Just focus on the big things you can see for certain.
Paint the picture until you feel you are satisfied with it, keep in mind this may not be your ultimate destination. We never truly know what the future holds for us. We may end up making small edits or changing the picture entirely so don’t invest too much into it unless it comes naturally to you. If you invest a lot into it, don’t fall victim to feelings of attachment and know that there will certainly be changes since you’re not a psychic.
Once you have everything written down, and have reviewed it we now have our destination or our “B point” and we have our origination or “A point” so now we can do some simple maths to figure out how to get from point A to point B. This is simple maths, this is concrete problem-solving at it’s finest and we have two different options to come up with the same solution. We can figure out how to get from point A to point B, but we can also figure out how to get from point B to point A. Whichever path you take, you find the relationship between those two points.
Decide the direction that you would like to take (maybe try/use both) and move on to filling in the blanks between the two points. There are many ways to get from one point to another, you may have to lay out a few routes to determine the best route for your personal situation.
Fill in the blanks
Next, imagine yourself DIRECTLY in the shoes of the 5 years older you or (working backward from the 25 years older you) the shoes of the 5 years younger you, and think with your future brain– you have everything that you want, it’s time to progress further, what would you need to achieve next to get to where you’re going? If you are working backwards you can figure out where you came from, what were the things you did to get where you are standing? There are no absolutes and no limits to anything and if there appear to be any, they are merely an illusion.
With no limits, there is always something available to do next. What is the next leg of the adventure that will bring you happiness and fulfill you? You are in the shoes of your future self and possess all of their knowledge and desires skills, close your eyes and extend yourself 5 years further from there– what does that look like to you?
“I can’t think of anything”
It’s not that you can’t, you’re choosing not to think of anything. You’re self-imposing a magical barrier over your capabilities. Yeah you may not be able to think of anything, but are you even trying? “Yes, I am trying”. Well try harder. If you were actually trying, you would be able to do it. Thinking of things isn’t hard, if you think you can’t think of anything you’re just being a child and drawing this out or doing a weak attempt at trying it so that you can say that you did and continue the comfortable world that you know within the whirlpool.
This is the life that you’re imagining you want for yourself. What, you can’t imagine your future? Have you never thought about it before? Is your future that unimportant to you that you can’t expend the mental energy on it? Maybe you feel you don’t have a future. If you are reading these words right now, you have a future so give it some thought. What is your future going to be?
I may sound stern above, but it just grinds my gears when people say they “can’t think”. They certainly can. When they say they “can’t think”, the truth of the matter is they are merely just not feeling their effort is going to be worth the time and so don’t expend it. Why can’t you think? Is someone else in your head psychically/physically holding you down? No, ONLY YOU live in your head so ONLY YOU can stop yourself, so why are you stopping yourself? Or why aren’t you stopping yourself from stopping yourself? That’s the question.
Know that I’m aware of the reality that thought paralysis and “going blank” definitely happens. I just don’t feel that it’s a serious issue and don’t believe you should either, don’t get stuck on it. It usually only happens when put on the spot without the preparation or when trying to think of something totally new. Think about it. It takes some energy to get something to move when it isn’t moving. You may have never thought about things like this and so don’t know (doubt it, every kid is asked, “what do you want to be when you grow up?”). You may have some subconscious mental blocks placed for some reason, but the thing about these mental blocks is that you placed them there, you’re also capable of taking them away.
Most best things in the world take time
Most of the best things in the world take time. I’m sure one of the reasons you possibly “can’t think” of your future is that you’re hoping for the BEST for yourself. How often have you truly thought about what’s “BEST” for yourself? I feel a good amount of people have not done it as much as would have been helpful to themselves, they never really allow themselves the privilege of thinking what’s “BEST” for them and how to get it, they tend to focus on what’s bad about the situation and what makes it so bad.
What is the “BEST” for yourself? Plant the seed, take the time to water it, keep an eye on it, and help it to grow. It may sprout overnight or instantly, but don’t fret if it doesn’t– many of the plants that like to sprout up instantly are really just weeds.
So make sure you try long enough and put enough energy in before resigning and saying “I got nothing”. All you’ve got to do is invest enough energy in until your brain starts moving, once your brain starts moving any energy put in will more easily increase its inertia. Things may not come to you the first brainstorm at the “comfort station”, that’s fine, you probably need to go at least once a day and that’s an appointment that ultimately can’t be avoided. You also don’t have to do it on the toilet, you can do it any time you have free time, but what’s the rush? May as well do it while you’re getting paid because that shit is hilarious (in more ways than one), at least I always laugh when I consider that I get paid to pee and poop.
If you’ve got some initial “brain block” and would like some energy input for a “jump start” of your mental facilities then you may use the following questions as a starting point/springboard:
Where are you living? What kind of residence is it? How do you spend your days? Where do you get your income from? Who do you spend your time with? How do you dress? What are the levels of your bank account/debt? What state is your physical/spiritual/mental body in? What are your emotions like? What have you accomplished for someone of your age/status? Have you started a family yet at this point (if you’re going to)?
As you begin to think and the ideas begin to flow, have your mind open to the feelings of your heart as each idea emerges. Your heart will resonate toward the things you truly want, this feeling will be helpful in filtering out thought-forms that come to mind if there are a plethora of ideas spurting out. Write down the things/ideas that truly resonate with your heart and discard the others for now. I have presented some fairly universal things to think about and get you started but I don’t know who YOU are. There will probably be some YOU-specific questions you will need to ask yourself, be sure to give a good think as to what these could be.
A key piece of advice
You can’t output ideas the same way you output your excrement, forcing it. So, DON’T FORCE IT.
I’d give a few paragraphs of advice, but “less is more” as the saying goes. I’ll leave you with this quote attributed to Albert Einstein and will just leave it at that:
“I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me.”
If you’ve taken all of the steps listed above, you now have your map to your future in your hands.
Think about your map, go over it again and again until you feel confident that this is the journey you’d like to take.
In a perfect world this would be all you needed. You would write this down and then you would go and get what you wanted, no problem. A fun reality of this world is that it isn’t perfect, so there is more we need to do. That is, at least if you’d like to set the stage as best as you can for your success.
So you’re now a person with a map/goal. Everyone is the hero of their own story, and now you’re a hero who wants to go somewhere and has a good idea of how to get there. You know what comes next?
The hero’s journey
YOU are the hero of your story, or main character if you’d prefer. Now, what do we know about heroes and their journey(s)/adventure(s)?
There will be obstacles
Nobody is a hero/main character who can just walk to where they need to go and do what they need to do with nothing standing in their way. The whole point of a hero is that they overcome, the point of a main character is that there is some sort of conflict to be resolved. Without these, the story is usually not worth telling. Without these, you are not the hero or main character, you are a side character.
When obstacles rise up against you, see them as what they are, attempts at thwarting the hero on their journey. They are there because you are the hero, and what does the hero do when an attempt at thwarting them on their journey comes up? One of two things ideally, but I see three important possibilities:
- The hero thwarts the thwart – They clear whatever stood in their way
- The hero is thwarted, they then try again and succeed – They are thwarted, but the determination of the Hero to achieve their goal pushes them to find a way to proceed– learning/training montage, equipment upgrade, seeking sage advice, recruiting/asking for help, finding another path.
- They are defeated, never to return – The third option an individual is able to take, the option usually taken by non-heros/side characters. The individual doesn’t want their goal enough or doesn’t want to take the risk, content with things to remain the same in lieu of taking the time/effort/energy to overcome an obstacle.
There are several different kinds of obstacles that can arise. We will go through some of them here, but likely won’t cover them all. For those that are not covered, just know that where there is a will there is a way.
External Obstacles
External obstacles are those that appear to reside outside of yourself, some of these will be
- Acts of God – These are obstacles beyond anyone’s control. Inclement weather, circumstantial happenstances, sudden gusts of gravity, I hope that’s enough for you to get the gist. While beyond anyone’s direct control, these can be largely (but of course not always) predicted and avoided. I repeat, Acts of God are beyond anyone’s control and should not be paid mind to other than in avoiding them, or deciding what to do once they have occurred. Emotional reactions/complaining are of no use here other than perhaps the expulsion of them in order to have a clear mind.
- Requirements – There are many many places that have requirements in order to proceed. For example, if your hero’s journey involves becoming a scientist, you’re going to need some school specifically science classes. If you’re looking to meet someone, you’re going to have requirements like having a reason for crossing their path. If you’d like to get rid of your debt, good money management is required. Wherever you’re going, something will be required of you. Requirement obstacles aren’t so bad because usually you’re aware of what and where these are along your journey. Even when unexpected, all you’ve got to do is meet the requirements, which is usually always possible no matter what. Keep in mind that there is almost always more than one solution to a “problem”. Should you find trouble meeting the requirements, you may be able to find an alternative way to meet the requirements/proceed along. If it just so happens that the path you would like to take possesses what you (or others) deem as with a “near-impossible” requirement(s) and it seems like this is the path that you need to proceed along, remember that “near-impossible” is not impossible– the requirements are ALWAYS achievable one way or another.
- Other Characters – Without the support/existence of other characters in the world, you wouldn’t possess a journey or a story. There are many character types: key characters, minor characters, enemy characters, passive characters and more. Other characters will have varying abilities and degrees of freedom according to the choices that they’ve made through their own journey. They, like you, are the summation of their experiences and the results of their actions and no two characters are alike. While no two characters are the same, all characters have the same rudimentary processes and possible capabilities. As such, every character has what makes them, them, in the same way that you have things that make you, you. Every character has their own dreams, desires, and story. Possession of free-will is innate in every character as well. Every character reacts to situations based on their current physical/mental/emotional state, current available knowledge, and past experiences. All of this to say that while there may be characters presented as obstacles with varying alignments/reasonings (good or bad), they can all be moved past in a variety of ways. All that you need to do is present the right circumstances/dialogue/relationship/interaction. Every character that will help or or stand in your way has their own motives and can be convinced of anything should your motives be aligned with theirs. From time-to-time, you may find characters standing as obstacles in your path. While many you will be able to handle head-on, remember, there is likely another entity out in the world who may be easier to sway/more willing to be of service to you along your journey. Hint: Every action has a reaction. What actions shall you take to illicit the reaction you desire?
Internal Obstacles
You probably inferred this section was coming. What other obstacles could there be in life besides external ones? Perhaps you thought that external obstacles were the only ones in existence? This couldn’t be further from the truth for every outside has an inside and vice versa. The outside and the inside are inseparable, but that’s a topic for another time.
What you are capable of achieving externally is entirely dependent on your internal capabilities/status. The only person that can prevent you from having everything you would like, in this case a successful and fruitful journey, is YOU.
Ultimately, your outside reality is based off of your inner reality. Every single perception of the outside world is received and filtered through our brain. We receive input, and then our brain generates reality based on that input.
Our brain, like much of the rest of our body is a muscle. I would argue that it is the most flexible and versatile muscle in a human’s body. Like any other muscle or biology, the brain develops based on the input/stimuli/actions it is exposed to.
I find one of the handiest metaphors for the brain is thinking of it like a garden.
You are the steward of the garden of your brain. What have you allowed to flower there? Have you treated it with dignity and respect? Have you allowed others to influence and stomp all over it?
The obstacles within you will always arise due to a lack of knowledge, understanding, and experience. Obstacles sprout from within you from no other source. If you have always pumped your brain full of these things then you are not going to have as much difficulty from the things holding you back. If you haven’t pumped your brain full of these things then you may be incapable of surmounting your inner obstacles at this current point in time, but you are perfectly able to take the proper measures to surmount anything. The time it takes to surmount something will vary from each and every individual, but again, EVERYONE is capable of achieving it in the end.
Now, one of the… most… let’s say…. entangling parts of the inner struggle is that it’s YOU vs YOURSELF.
Can you win a fight against yourself? You’re equally matched, so if you did have to fight against a copy of yourself, you would be in a bind! What about if you didn’t realize you were fighting yourself? Well you would always win BUT you would also always lose– catch22. An almost impossible challenge, similar to literally trying to lift yourself up by your own bootstraps.
So you are your own worst enemy, just as the saying goes
You cannot fight yourself and win unless you know yourself so well that you know not only what your next move is going to be, but also what you think you’d do if you knew that you knew what your next move was going to be. You could fight against yourself and win the same way you would win against a mind reading bear.
To take yourself on and win, you should look to fully know yourself if you don’t already. And I do mean fully know yourself. How may things do you definitely know about yourself? For example, I often think of what my future-self is going to do. I think of what my reactions are going to be and I think of the places where I normally struggle. If I keep this in mind, I can do “favors” for my future-self. I can mitigate my own frustration and make things easier for myself. Do you know yourself? Are you aware of what you do and why? This takes an active “in the now”, “chop wood, carry water” type of mind. If you have never paid any active attention to yourself now is the time, keep your mind totally present in the current moment and observe what you do; you will eventually, if not understand, know your habits and once you know your habits you may discern how to mitigate/change them.
There will be times, upon further investigation where you may not immediately be able to understand why you do and feel the way that you do, the reactions that automatically rise. Everything has an origin, especially within you. You were a blank slate upon entering this world. Each and every single human was programmed from birth to be who they are today. Do you remember everything from the time that you were born? Do you remember everything from last month? What about last week even? Every single thing from yesterday?
Unless you’re naturally talented or developed the skill, then likely not. Very slim possibilities of remembering everything from yesterday, let alone anytime period prior to that.
The ability for you or anyone to fully remember one day or any number of days past that becomes less likely as you extend the time period for recall. Observing yourself and figuring yourself out sounds fruitless but fret not! Humans have something that no artificial intelligence (artificial intelligence capable of perfect memory [to a point]), to date, possesses and that is proper pattern recognition.
Thankfully for human beings, we possess an intelligence that is more apt than any other organism so far, and that is the intelligence of pattern recognition. There is no need for remembering every moment of every day, there is only need to remember the “important” parts. Or maybe a better way of saying it is to say, as time goes on, there is only need to remember things that make the deepest “grooves” within our memory– these “grooves” in our mind are made the same way that grooves are made within the physical world, which is with either repetition to wear out the grooves or force to chisel them out. We do need to be wary of false patterns and drawing false conclusions of them, but when this happens it is usually quick to come back and bite us so one who does this won’t keep up the habit long if they know what’s good for them.
I wish I could give you the step-by-step directions to overcome yourself and/or directions on how to stay out of your own way, but everyone is different and I have no idea who you are. I have no idea how tightly you have constricted around yourself or how deeply you’ve convinced yourself and attributed the cause of your internal obstacles to some outside source– sure an outside source may be the origin of internal problems, but YOU are the one who has allowed it to take up residence from within your head. You are the only one that controls what goes on in your head and, if you haven’t already, it’s time to take some responsibility for yourself.
Obstacles are just playing their part in the story
Whenever you read a story, are you ever mad/upset at the “villain”? Think back to all of the stories you have read, watched, or listened to as you were taking them in. Did you ever actually feel any bad/negative feelings toward the antagonist? Surely you didn’t like them (unless the author was aiming for that), but you were more likely invested into the hero of the story and knew that the “bad” guy wouldn’t win. You had faith in the hero and their ability to overcome the obstacles in their way. You weren’t mad at the “bad” guy (most stories give you enough backstory on the antagonist for you to understand how they came to be, you may not agree with it or be rooting for them, but you do understand and thus you’re not mad at them.
You know how stories work, you know that the hero works until they find a way to overcome the obstacle in their path, you have complete faith in the heroes of the stories you’ve ingested. Really, nothing can stop them, there is a way for them to be victorious no matter what, you know this.
Again, YOU ARE THE HERO OF YOUR STORY.
Time to bring it all home
We’ve been on quite the journey throughout this article and I believe we’ve covered everything you need to know. Let’s review everything and tie it all back in together so we have the full picture.
Ultimately, the objective of this article is to present the value of the word “no” for the reader’s consideration. I hope that I have done more than that here today, actually. I hope I have helped you to realize that you now have the method/capabilities to obtain anything you’d like including any life you imagine for yourself that you desire.
You have the rundown of an effective way to plan your path, as well as overcome ANY and EVERY obstacle that presents itself to be THWARTED by YOU.
You now understand the hero’s journey, YOUR journey.
Have fun getting to where you’re going!
Wishing you all the best,
FCP 🙃
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