I could tell you, but where’s the fun in that?
You’re wanting me, to share my knowledge, with you; my knowledge that I had to put in the time, effort, and energy to accumulate.
I have something you want, but why should I just give it to you?
This knowledge is worth something after all, and while I’m generous— I’m not a charity.
You’ve been around too long for me to just give you my knowledge. I’ve given you plenty of freebies in the past anyway, and some freebies that I have to give you every single day.
It’s rather tiring, but it’s also my fault— give a mouse a cookie after all…
You do realize that each time you have to ask me something that you are now wasting two people’s time right? Double the waste, more so if it’s something I’ve told you before.
“But it’s worth it to make sure it’s/I’m right”
Fair point. It is very worth it to make sure something is correct, this is why a lot of the times I just let it go.
As time goes on it really does start to get old, haven’t you learned anything by now? You should know these things or be able to figure them out, where are those critical thinking skills I know you have? Please use your brain and start really thinking.
Let me pause for a moment to make something quite clear, I am not accusing you of not thinking. I would never say such a dastardly thing to anyone. I know each and every single one of you thinks and I know you think well (when it’s something you care about). You are a human being managing to navigate/survive in the world (while who knows what is against you) and reading some random bohemian’s blog in your spare time– you are a thinker and I would never accuse you otherwise. (Also, thank you very much for reading!)
What I would do, on the other hand, is let you know that you are thinking sub-optimally to where you could be. I would wager each and every one of you could stand to think better (I’m a betting man– more fun that way). Are you really thinking at your best? If you can really honestly say “Yes!” to that, then there is no need for you to read any further, for everyone else– read on.
I can tell that you could be better thinker
Often when you ask questions I can immediately tell that you didn’t even try (that hard) to solve what you’re asking me about.. that’s when I can really tell that you don’t respect either of our valuable time.
You put, what seems like to me, zero effort in attempting to reach an answer on your own.
Sure, maybe you’d rather interact with a human to figure some of these things out. Yeah, it’s possible time is of the essence and I need to just tell you. Ok, perhaps this is just a little random thing and why does it even matter anyway?
It’s because it’s far too often that this happens and all of these “insignificant” times add up to be quite a significant amount of time.
It’s probably just me, but I value every moment of my life and have quite a distaste for repetition or waste of my moments. At first I don’t mind telling/reminding you, but even though you are innocent in your ways and I do my best to forgive you for being who you are– everything wears down in the end and telling you more than once more bores me to tears and makes no sense.
- If it’s small and doesn’t matter why not look into it yourself?
- You ask the same questions over and over so they must be of some importance.
- If they’re important enough that they keep coming up why haven’t you at least kept the information somewhere you can reference if you’re too lazy to commit it to memory?
It would be better for the both of us if you would spend your own time finding answers to simple questions (and hopefully memorizing those question/answer combinations) so that going forward you can bring something more worthwhile of our time and energy to think about.
How I encourage thinking in others
Unless someone/something has managed to foster thinking within you (someone probably did manage to do this to you at some point, but like anything else– if you don’t use it you lose it), you will keep doing what you’re doing.
It makes perfect sense– why change when things are working as-is? Once an object is in motion, it stays in motion until another object acts upon it after all.
I would like to foster the thinking within you so that you may awaken yourself and grow. You cannot solely rely on others forever and it is better that those who are able to do so actually fend for themselves.
I realize nobody is asking me to foster their thinking which is why I never force it upon anyone. I merely give them opportunities that they choose to take advantage of should their curiosity be peaked enough.
To peak your curiosity properly I mustn’t take a direct approach. Going overtly can make someone feel under attack/nervous/on the spot, not care enough, or not really find value in what’s given.
What it takes, is a covert approach. I have to get you to realize it without giving you the answer, and I have to be earnest in helping you come to the answer without you realizing I have it.
Which is why I do my best to turn every day conversation into games
My knowledge is worth something so I can’t just give it to you, you have to earn it. I may lead you on an adventure in circles for the information, but rest assured in the end you will get it.. that is, so long as you play. “Ask and ye shall receive” you know..
What I have is valuable and you (may) want it. I’m nice enough to not take your money for it, all I ask is for a little entertainment in return.
This is where you may have chosen to interpret me saying that in more of a “dance monkey dance!!” way. I assure you, I am approaching this with the same energy as two kids playing tag on the playground– “you’ve got to catch me first!”
Remember you don’t have to play the game, you are always free to say no and turn me down. However, if you want what’s in my brain then you will have to play.
Some people grumble at the aspect of these games coming up in their way when they want something. Many of them say “screw that, it’s not worth it” or “why are you doing this? Just give me what I want so I can continue”. Sometimes they’re right, part of the fun in always offering you games is when you decide to play along, only to find that I didn’t have the answer you were looking for in the first place! You really should see the look on your face when this happens. If I’m teaching you in games, I also need to teach you to look out for when the prize or the game really isn’t worth your time.
So yes I will play games with you, and yes sometimes they will be very frustrating, but here’s what’s great for those of you that like games or have competitive spirits– the more you play, the better you get. The more you decide to play the more you learn too. Don’t fret either, I always make sure to play the game only for the sake of playing and always play in such a way where you can win. This doesn’t mean I won’t challenge you appropriately though (what is winning if it’s not a challenge after all?), however you will win one way or another so long as you don’t give up.
The benefits of playing games
You may be not see the value in games like this, but I assure you– they are plenty.
Firstly – Not giving you the answer right away allows me to gauge your interest– how important is this to you? If you are not willing to invest, then this is probably not worth the time.
Secondly – Once you start working for it, it invests more of your time and attention into it. Investing more time and attention allows for greater returns. Now, it’s also likely that you will have learned more than what you originally set out to know/do otherwise.
Thirdly – Experience is valuable and you now have experience in journeying to that answer. I can tell you all sorts of things about the road you go down and what you will see when you get to the end of it but that does NO justice compared to actually walking said road yourself.
Example: Telling you about my vacation to Italy is no where near as magical as you actually going yourself.
Fourthly – You may now serve as a guide for others. Who better to share information than someone who knows their way and where the magic is? What’s better: To say to someone, “Well my friend said ‘XYZ'” or “oh I have that experience, it’s ‘XYZ’.”?
It goes without saying that the benefits are numerous for those who are genuinely at play.
Again, don’t worry, you don’t have to play anything if you don’t want to, but it will be your loss..
You may throw a tantrum or say, “just tell me already” till you run out of oxygen but I will hold out because the reward in doing so is greater than any of your complaints or feelings.
Maybe perhaps you can now see that I’m doing you one better than just giving you the answer. I’m helping you to learn how to find the answer yourself.
Why should I just give you what you’re asking for?
It doesn’t help me to just give you what you want you know (though I really love to help). It doesn’t help you out either though. If given to you from the get go, then you’re immediately satisfied but you didn’t gain any real long term value. You don’t realize it, but you’re going for the candy bar when you could have the candy store. You’re also more likely to just use the information and discard it (since it was so easy to receive you give that information no value), rather than hold onto that information for future occurrences/endeavors
You may not want to play the game, but you can’t win the prizes if you don’t play.. and you probably really want those prizes. Doesn’t matter to me whether or not you have what you want, but it does matter to you so you will give in before I will. I keep going because these are great prizes and I want you to have them!
Even if you, begrudgingly or otherwise, find the answer/information/knowledge elsewhere by looking it up or asking another person to help you out, you have thought harder than you would have otherwise and my goal is accomplished regardless. You will have put in the effort to get what you want and I have increased the value of what it was you were seeking. You’re in a double bind, I’ve been playing the game too long and I have learned much– as such I know how to almost always win (especially against inexperienced players).
What else happens when you refuse to play the game and go elsewhere is that you (slowly) learn that you shouldn’t ask me easy/low-level things (because this is the only time when I decide to play. If you demonstrate that you have tried much elsewhere, then I will be the light in the darkness for you.) and you’ll avoid it. It’s not worth the hassle to deal with my antics.
Here is the thing though, you’ve just upped my value there. This is because I am still knowledgeable, I still know things that you would like to know but now it’s very likely that you’ll only come if what you think you want from me is worth my antics. If you think it’s worth my antics, then it’s much more fun (for me at least) because now you’re more willing to play the game, and now you’ve even got some stake in it. It goes on like this too, unless I get lazy and become someone you no longer ask questions of, which would be a pity but no worries there. When day that comes, it will be fully intentional.
What’s the point of all of this, you may ask?
I could keep playing the game without telling everyone, I could keep my “thinks” to myself. They’re pretty good “thinks” I would say and I don’t have to share them, it’s pretty fun playing the game without anyone else being aware but see, I would rather let you in on the fun. The more players and the more highly skilled they are, the more fun it is for everyone. So I’m sharing all of this with you for purely selfish reasons, and my earnesty is pretty much guaranteed.
Well, you may not have realized I’m in it for the fun of it and I’m in it to help you. So I’m telling you now because I would like us to be on the same page there. Sometimes you may be frustrated with me, sometimes I may test you, but I only bring things before you if I believe it to be worth your time. Your time is valuable, I would never want you to feel as though it was wasted and I don’t want to waste your time either. I want to give you what you want.. and more.
I really shouldn’t help you or anyone without being asked (have you ever tried to do the good thing and help someone, only for that intention to come back and bite you in the face?), but I just respect you too much. I see what you could be if given the proper motivations. I want you to think for yourself, I want you to do yourself the respect of learning. I want you to critically think and thus I must challenge you with games, it’s a much better alternative because we all get to have fun.
So, no, I can’t just tell you. You can demonstrate that you have done the proper legwork yourself, you can trade me something of greater or equal value (of course I’ll give you something any time if I’m getting something out of it), or of course you can play the game and win the prize (which is guaranteed, so long as you do not give up).
Never expect a straight answer from me otherwise because I never give them unless it suits my own interests’. Do the work, then you will reap the rewards– this is true of any endeavor and it is no different here, why would you ever think otherwise?
All the best,
FCP 🙃
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