Hello Everyone and welcome, thanks for taking the time to read today’s article.
If you’re here, you may be currently feeling some of the oppression/anxiety from what now seems to be a quarantine without end. I have here some tips for improving your life while we’re stuck in COVID. Hopefully one of these helps!
The problem with people wearing masks.
Right now in the state of the world is a mess (so bring your brooms) between economic downturn, social/political unrest, social distancing/masks, and more tensions have never been higher. As such, even walking down the street can prove to be a stressful time.
What I personally find so unnerving, and I’m sure you do too (maybe unconsciously), is that masks seriously inhibit my ability to read people. In the “Before Times” you could walk down the street and everyone is on their merry way paying no attention, you could even zone out or unfocus your eyes and let your mind drift.
We’re no longer able to drift or read on the fly. Humans can read other humans by their posture, movements, voice, and faces. The last one there being the most important because the face is the most telling. We’re able to do this for our own safety as this skill allows us to perceive possible threats. We are always doing this whether we realize this or not, it is what allows us to be comfortable while walking down the street past complete and total strangers. (You can even actually hone this skill and increase your ability to read other humans if you take the time, it’s a very handy skill to have in everyday life)
These days what I find myself and others doing is staring down each other as we walk by. With masks… masking faces (ha) it now takes longer to read a person in your vicinity due to 65% (pulled this out from nowhere) of our visibility now removed it takes longer for everyone to gauge whether or not someone is indeed a threat or not– causing stare downs.
For me at least, this is very uncomfortable, I would rather not have one of these stare downs and even if I do I feel very conscious to the fact that my face and thus my intentions are hidden. I am no person’s enemy, however how can they really know I’m not making faces at them underneath there? What happens if they judge that I am a threat? Or maybe due to lack of information they end up projecting that I give them a dirty look? People will think what they think and I shouldn’t care but also sometimes even with the training I have put my own mind through it still can never be completely controlled as I give myself the freedom to think as thoughts come, but I digress, I can’t help what I think sometimes, you know what I mean?
After pondering for some time I came up with a solution, field tested it, and it works marvelously for me. It makes me feel better and as a bonus, it could really brighten someone’s day! it’s simple:
When you make eye contact or pass people while wearing a mask, smile and wave/say hello.
“Wow that’s it?” – You
Yeah sure is, let me break it down and explain. With the major information center of another human person removed from view we look longer at the rest of the person to gather enough information on how to feel. So, if we add information back into the equation we can determine how we feel about someone more quickly even if we are wearing a mask.
First thing do to, if you do nothing else is to still smile at people as you walk by them. (and actually mean it)
“But FCP we were just talking about how we can’t see the mouth because everyone is wearing masks!”
You’re very right, however just dive back in and think about it a little more. When you’re feeling any sort of way (whether that be anger, concentration, sadness, etc) your whole face takes on that emotion. It is not just your mouth. It is your eyebrows, eyelids, cheeks, ears (ever noticed how peoples’ ears move when they smile?), and it is the belief of this author that smiling actively projects positive energy from the individual that people can feel on a foundational level.
Choose to smile underneath the mask and people will be able to see a difference in the parts of your face you can see whether they notice it consciously or not.
Secondly, a friendly wave (of your choice) or just saying “Hello” or “Good morning/afternoon/evening” is an obvious method of showing the universal message of “hello/friend/unarmed” to another human being. And what is another human to do when someone says/waves “hello” at them? Well, wave back of course!
This has four benefits:
1. The other person has just realized that you are a person. (Sometimes we forget that people are people, especially as we focus on navigating our day), not only are you a person– but you are a random person who was nice enough to acknowledge their existence and say hello
2. The other person may wave/say hi back. Thus establishing both of you as friendly humans walking down the street.
3. You may have very well brightened up someone’s day (before, and these days especially, hardly anyone says hi to anyone they don’t have to. That may very well have been the first time/only time all day someone was nice to them).
4. You also get to have your day brightened. (Say what you like, but everyone likes to be acknowledged. It feels really good when someone sees us and especially if they’re nice.)
You may exchange the hand wave with a head nod if you like. I experimented with this as well but I found it was more difficult to be perceived. If you do opt for the head nod the advice I would give would be to exaggerate it. You’ll want to feel like you’re nodding your head too hard almost, that’s when the action is really obvious to others and you’re not left in the dust wondering if they saw it.
Give it a go and see what happens
I think the best benefit of this is adding a little bit more sociability to others’ lives as well as our own. Acknowledging/Being acknowledged during this time is also especially valuable and carries more weight in these COVID days than it would in the “before times”.
I invite you to give smiling and waving underneath your mask a try and see the positive effects it will have on yourself and those you encounter. Do your best to also keep this habit when things do begin returning to normal, it costs nothing to be nice to others and pays dividends.
Let me know how it works, talk to you again soon.
All the best,
FCP 🙃
Next Article (4 ways some video editors fall short)